I’m a new grandmother for the second time today. I’m elated and sad at the same time. Elated that another healthy baby was born. Sad because she’s too far away for me to partake in the joyous occasion. Elated at the prospect of a young mother learning more about life, and how to emulate the ultimate mother for her child. Sad that things are the way they are in the world, and the "different” opportunities this child will now have to endure. Thrilled at the prospect of new life, and the day-by-day changes parents get to see as the baby grows. Sad that I might not even get to have a part in that. Excited that my baby son gets to experience the happiness I did when he was born. Sad that he might not do things the way I did (and of course I thought I was the best mother in the world, it’s that control thing..). Happy that this new mother has brought forth her child very well, and worked hard to do such a good job. This child is beautiful (of course I’m a little jaded..) and will carry forth the genes I helped to give, to make this child one of a kind. Sad that they live so far away, and I cannot be there for them, to help them learn, share my experience and ensure they do a wonderful job.
Alas, I did not have that in my child-rearing experience either, and I think my kids came out okay. I regularly see the little things I instilled in them, and that reinforces the question that I did do a good job. What I did have was a circle of friends and a tolerant employer who were willing to help a single mother, and most importantly, a very close and deep personal relationship with God, without whom I would not have survived the experience.
Welcome to the world, Aaliyah Heart!