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The Redneck Home Security System

A sure shot for home protection

My last blog post was about the benefits and weaknesses of security alarm systems, and about ways to prevent door kick-ins. For the creative, the irreverent, and kudos to those who already use this method of prevention, I offer this solution. To the rest of you, I beg forgiveness.

Building on our intrusion prevention experience in the unique milieu of the Deep South, The Entry Enforcer is proud to introduce our foolproof, patented, copyrighted, and plagiarized anti-burglary technique, fine-tuned for this locality.   We call it:

           The Redneck Home Security System

1. Get an old pair of men's size 14 work boots from Freecycle or Value Village
2. Sit ‘em on your front porch beside a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put some big, messy dog bowls next to the boots.
4. Tack a note to the door that says:

"Me and Bubba and Bertha and Duke have gone for more ammo and beer.  Be right back.  Don't mess with the pit bulls; they got to the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. -- Cooter" 

That’s the Redneck Security System---a sure shot for home protection.

Duncan Cottrell, The Entry Enforcer, is a home improvement technician specializing in Home Intrusion Prevention.  He offers door and window reinforcing, free home security assessments, and answers questions at Duncan@EntryEnforcer.com or (404)289-6960.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Jim Kinney May 07, 2012 at 09:39 PM
Ha! A friend hooked up a door open sensor to an audio play back of a shotgun being cocked. Came home one day to find the door had been kicked in and nothing was disturbed.
Katie Rawlins May 08, 2012 at 04:40 PM
Being from the mountains of NE Tennessee, I really appreciate this post. :) Works every time!

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